Week 7: Life Lessons

Losing a family member is something that leaves a scar on your heart for a lifetime. Adapting to empty chairs at the table for Christmas dinner, the family reunions that feel empty, the memories that constantly roll through your brain like a movie. It is a feeling that really changes everything.

Around Thanksgiving of this year, I lost my dearest uncle. The sudden accident took him away from my family too early… he was in his early 40's, making the sudden news of his passing even more unbearable.

The phone call was a moment I will never forget. My whole family crowding around the small phone on the middle of the dining room table, hands shaking, tears streaming as we heard the news. A giant hole started to form in the pit of our hearts and the whirlwind of emotions took over. They never seemed to subside. The anger, the sadness, the hope that maybe the doctors got something wrong… but in the end we faced the hard truth that it did happen, and it was his time.

He was always like a father figure to my sister and I growing up. Nascar, hamburgers, and cars were his passions. Jimmy always came over to see us, made us laugh endlessly, and always needed the latest update on all things going on in our lives. He was truly one of a kind and someone that brought light to anyone who met him.

I sat alongside my sister and my oldest cousin, surrounded by sniffles and hands being held in comfort at his funeral. All in attendance filled with complete sorrow. It was as if a dark cloud was hung above the room, engulfing everyone in a deep sadness. 

Pastor Meredith began to speak at the podium. “Jim was a loving man who cared deeply about his family, his friends, and his dear wife…” Her words began to dim as I stared blankly at the floor. “This can’t be it… he can’t be gone. He was so young, why is this happening? This isn’t fair.” These thoughts began to take over my brain, canceling out every sound in the room.

“Would anyone like to say any words about Jim?” said Pastor Meredith. I glanced up, snapping out of my clouded thoughts.

There was a moment of silence, no movement, nothing. You could hear a pin drop in the room.  

My uncle Mark stood up and faced our family. “Jim was the type of person who never let a day go by. He treated each day like it was the best gift he had ever received. He wouldn’t want this for us…” He was right… we are all morning him when he would have loved nothing more than to be celebrated.

We all then began to stand up, one by one and share memories of Uncle Jimmy. Laughs began to be heard around the room from all of the crazy things Jimmy did in his life. The dark cloud began to lift. Something then began to spark in me. A feeling of hope, of revelation. Live each day as if you were Jimmy. Not in the sense of the things he accomplished, but the mindset that he held.

There is a plan for everyone. Life can come to a close at every given moment. It is important to cherish the times that we have now and enjoy every minute we have.

I feel like today, everyone is caught up in the rapidness of it all. With no time to slow down, no breaks, everyone is always on the go, go, go. Each day constantly being played out like a schedule rather than a gift. No one really stops to smell the roses anymore.

I will stop to watch the sunset. I will drive a different route to work every week to see different sights. I will take a vacation that may not be in my budget and apply for the job that I have always dreamed of. I will go to a Nascar race and be filled with joy as if Jimmy is there with me. It is time to truly live. 

It is time that I realized life is short. We never truly know when our time is up, and we need to cherish every moment. It is perfectly acceptable to cry and have bad days, but it was you take from them. The lessons that you learn to pick yourself up, stand a little taller, and keep moving forward.

Times like these really question how strong you really are, losing a family member can knock you down to the point where you just do not want to get back up. I didn’t want to, but then I realized how important it is that I stop living in the negativity and see life for what it is… pure magic.