Week 2: Futile Efforts in Journal Writing

                In the past I’ve kept personal journals utilizing a notebook and pen or pencil. It’s been a way for me to express thoughts, fears, concerns, hopes, and even goals/dreams for my future and who I want to be. Journal writing has given me moments of hope where I’ve felt like my passion could be a career. Where I’ve had a moment of peaceful clarity and thought that I’ve overcome the doubt that lingers in my mind. Almost like it’s silenced the voice telling me, “You’re not good enough.” Inevitably though that doubt that I thought to have sprayed with metaphorical weed killer comes back and has spread because the root hasn’t died. Rather, it has grown more firmly and deeply in the recesses of my ego. So, while I’ve kept journals for periods of time, they’ve felt like a continuous cycle of the same thing over and over without any real change to my perspective. I think that is why I’ve never been one to write about myself online – be it through blogs or some other social media platform. That voice grows stronger telling me, “Nobody cares what you have to say,” and inevitably I agree. I don’t share much of my goals, dreams, plans with many people, and especially not online. It’s probably a good thing to do so – to get support, encouragement, and create a sense of community and accountability for those dreams. Unfortunately, I think that I’m too much like my father. I tend to look at things through a pessimistic lens…waiting for the next shoe to drop so I can be like, “see, I told you so.”

                I don’t know that oversharing causes one to lose their voice. I think when someone attempts to deliver what other people expect of them; entertain for the sake of entertaining; or in some way try to be something they are not is when they lose their voice. But I think that, as John Grisham stated in his commencement address, “it’s your unique voice that people want to listen to.” (I’m obviously paraphrasing here a bit.) But it is that voice which is why I think people are interested in reading someone else’s journal or diary. Often times, people will write things that we as readers are unable to articulate. But reading something that we may be feeling can give us a greater depth of understanding of who we are. It can help us put things into perspective or provide us with a way of looking at something that we hadn’t been able to do on our own. Sometimes the journal of someone else can inspire or motivate. And at times take away some of our fears, foibles, insecurities and make us feel less alone or isolated.

                While I haven’t read many blogs (and that will probably change as a result of this course), I don’t know if people write in a stream of consciousness or if there is a prompt/plan to which they write. But regardless of the approach that a writer takes to the writing of their blog, I think that it can be meaningful and speak to an audience beyond just that of the writer. Just because stream of consciousness is designed to put the reader inside the head of the writer (or a character), I think that view can provide some level of insight into the reader’s mind as well. It is something that a reader can compare, contrast, or even gain some insight into. It’s probably cathartic for the writer, but the reader has something to learn from as well in this style of writing.

                Electronic writing (word processors for example) can help with some of the grammatical aspects of someone’s writing. But with non-computer based writing I think issues of spelling and grammar could be more prominent. However, if the audience is the writer themselves, these issues probably become less and less important. Now, when someone is putting things out in an online environment which is open to the public for consumption, I think that it is important for the writer to be more concerned with the spelling and organization of a given piece. As Ms. Cook mentions in her piece Writing as Self Reflection, “…there is the more baffling problem of balancing the occasions for objective judgment of the composition product itself with occasions for a subjective evaluation of the pupil’s effort.” Granted she is coming at this from an academic perspective, but I think as readers we need to balance those efforts as well when we write for a public audience. As readers we sometimes need to look beyond the formatting/appearance and understand the substance or essence of the piece. However, writers also need to be concerned with the output, correctness, and organization of a piece. There is a definite amount of care, concern, and pride that we need to take when putting something out for public consumption as it can become very distracting and off putting to a reader when major issues are present.