I will absolutely be destroying my journals and diaries one
day. I have carried them around with me through various stages of life, and
went through some very difficult things that I don’t typically discuss with
others. I would not want anyone to read my most private thoughts. I would not
be comfortable leaving their disposal in someone else’s hands. The purpose of using a journal for me is to unload. Ambitions, fears, plans, things I want to
change. My secrets. Bad choices, good choices, and things I have yet to decide.
In Jenny Alexander’s blog she mentions that her journals
hold the exploration of all the different versions of herself, new ideas, new
questions, that she has yet to come back to and decide what action she will
take. This spoke to me as well. My journals hold so many questions about my life
and what would happen, food recipes I want to try, places I want to see, pages
filled with travel itineraries and hotel pricing and flights. The light topics
of planning life. However, struggling with mental illness is something I have
experienced for most of my life, and much of my writing is about that. My anxieties,
no matter how unreasonable. My fears, no matter how unjustified. I am pretty levelheaded
and functional but I prefer that no one see me in my darker moments.
Another reason I will burn mine is because I know, just like
Dominique Browning wrote in the New York Times, that I am incredibly nosy. Snoopy.
I devour information about other peoples’ inner thoughts. You should never read
a person’s journal. I think if someone goes missing, or a child is having serious behavioral issues, perhaps a teenager using alcohol and drugs, law enforcement should read it to gain insight on the person's life... but never that person's family members or friends. It can lead to all
sorts of issues for you and the writer, and it is ultimately not worth it.
People are allowed their privacy. Their own space to process their daily lives
and the chaos of the world.
I appreciate your perspective here. The post was very well written and the points you make support your title - along with incorporating content and perspectives from the assigned readings. I do have to admit, I sort of expected to see a photo of Brad Pitt with his iPhone headphones in from the film "Burn After Reading"! But I like the fact that my expectations were subverted.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing that I wonder about or would have liked to see you expand upon is your comment about "I would not be comfortable leaving their disposal in someone else’s hands." Do you think that someone would publish them? Share your thoughts with someone who would be hurt/offended?
Thank you for sharing about struggling with mental illness and how you write about that. I hope that helps you work through challenging times. I enjoyed reading your post.
I love the title. I've been on a Brad Pitt kick lately and this made me smile, wish I thought of it first honestly. I salute you for keeping a diary for so long, I wish I had your persistence! I agree with your point about being snoopy too, I thought the exact same thing when I read that article. I would 100% read my family members diaries, and that's the main reason why I wouldn't let mine out into the world, because I already know my family is lining up to read it. Well put, and well written.
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