Over the years I’ve written in a diary/journal/notebook.
Most of the time I’m writing to work through challenging points in my life.
When I’m feeling down, lost, sad, confused, or hopeless I will turn to the
written word to get out what’s weighing on my mind. Or, at times, when I’m
doubting myself or my choices in life I’ll work through those things and try to
find hope or inspiration and give me the courage to get past the things that
are burdening me. I’ve never turned to a journal post to express negative sentiment
about someone or bad mouth the people in my life. So, thinking about how I’ve
used journals in my life to date, I don’t think I’d really be too concerned
with destroying them…and while I don’t think I’d ever voluntarily offer it to
someone to read (after all, they are my private thoughts), I wouldn’t be that
bothered if someone had found them and read them.
The author of the New York Times article titled “Burning
the Diaries” wrote, “My soul lived in my diaries, and that weighed on me; by
the time I was in my 40s, if I died before I woke, I wanted someone to snatch
my diaries before anyone else did.” If I were dead, I honestly could not care
less if someone read what I wrote.
Maybe some of the things I write would be a little “surprising”
to a close friend/family member reading my thoughts, but for the most part I
think that it would give the person reading it insight into who I was. I would
hope that the person reading them would find something interesting or of value.
Maybe they would learn something about who I was and the things that I was
thinking about in my life.
Maybe I’m strange in this regard (and you might not believe
me when I write the following words), but I wouldn’t read someone’s diary if I found it and they were alive. If
someone I knew – parent, spouse, friend, sibling – were no longer alive and I
found a diary or journal they had been keeping I would probably want to read it. Not
out of disrespect, but to get to know a piece of them better. I would want to
understand what they were thinking and dealing with. I feel like it would bring
me closer to them and give me insight that I hadn’t had before. Is it strange
that I would consider it an invasion of their privacy to read their diary when
they were alive, but it wouldn’t be if they were dead? Does privacy end when
the soul departs the body?
I guess a good rule of thumb, as the author of “Some
Day Someone Will Read Your Journal of Record” put it, “The only thing you have
to decide is what impression you want to create, and write your diary
accordingly. For instance, if you are having an affair and don't want your partner
to know, don't mention it.” You shouldn’t write anything you don’t want someone
to know or read. If you’re concerned with what someone will see or think, then
keep it locked away in the private vault known as your head.
I agree, when I was younger (when I kept a journal/diary) I usually used it when I was emotional (usually angry). They are good forms of self expression, especially when we are confused or feeling like we're not being listened to. I think they allow us to recognize our own emotions and let us burn some fuel. You did a good job of integrating information from the articles into your response.
ReplyDeleteI would also never read anyone's journal. You pose an interesting question about privacy extending after death. For the people I love, I think it should. I would respect their beliefs and such after their lives, because I think I owe it to them.
Our views are a little different when it comes to people reading our journals. I would never want someone to read my journals. Everything I would write when I'm emotional is not truly me, and I feel like someone reading it may be hurt by the content.
I too used my journals as a place to unload in the bad times of my life. I am now hoping to use writing in another way, which is to highlight the positives of my life as well. To write things down that I want to remember forever, how I was feeling on a particularly good day.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone dies I believe it is a matter of respect to not read their personal diary or journal. I wouldn't want someone to read mine. We share the parts of ourselves with our loved ones that we have hopefully taken the time to refine. Personal relationships can be very complicated and I think that reading someone's journal after their death could cause issues for the reader. It is hard to cope with finding out that someone was not exactly who they said, or that they didn't believe what you may have thought they did.
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ReplyDeleteRegarding the claims you made in this post, I thought it was interesting that you said that you wouldn't read the diary of someone who was still alive, but you probably would if they had passed away. I think I would be open to that idea, as I agree with you in saying that it would allow for better insight on that individual. I think that if I were to find the diary of someone I loved who had passed, I might read it too unless they explicitly have requested otherwise. I believe that reading their diary can allow someone to feel a deeper connection with them than through just your own thoughts and memories of that person. I also think that reading their handwriting can be comforting. It makes you forget that they aren't there anymore, as it is almost like their handwriting symbolizes a mark they have left on the earth that is only theirs. I think that handwriting is different than just an object or article of clothing that they owned.